so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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