I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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