your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
