Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize