Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
