suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My feet surprised me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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