i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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