Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
