Already got asked if we're dating
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
