i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Randomize
