do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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