Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
