ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
