I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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