Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
God, you're like boner-b-gone
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
