I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
