How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
