you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize