I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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