dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
