we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
