remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
