I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
