im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
