did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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