I bet he comes in French.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
