Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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