Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I understand Curling. That high.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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