Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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