Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
