So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
