Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
