i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
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