I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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