I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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