Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
