So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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