You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
