Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize