love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
