oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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