I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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