so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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