Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
