Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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