I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
