you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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