so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
