lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
