your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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