so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
